Diet Soda Will Kill You

I think most people know that soft drinks are bad for you. Refined sugar in large amounts is essentially toxic, and is the number one contributor to obesity (In my opinion, and called "white death" in the health food community). Phosphorus, sodium, and caffeine block calcium absorption, and caffeine is the most widely used drug in the United States. Soft drinks will kill you.

I've been reading a book called Skinny Bitch, by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. They describe diet sodas in a no-nonsense way (similar to the rest of the book!).
Don't let yourself off the hook if you drink diet soda---it's worse than regular in many ways. True, it has no sugar, but in it's place there are chemicals. Artificial sweeteners negatively impact the signal system your body has with your brain regarding telling you when you are full and creates cravings for "sweet" foods. It's not all in your head, it's a chemical thing. Aspartame is a common one used, and this evil beast also causes arthritis, birth defects, fibromyalgia, Alzheimer's, lupus, multiple sclerosis, and diabetes. Not only that----the methyl alcohol in aspartame enters the body and turns into a cancer-causing compound called formaldehyde (yes, the same thing scientists use to disinfect things in a lab). When you consume aspartame in conjunction with carbs (in food or drink) it causes a decrease in brain production of serotonin (the happy chemical). Not to mention, if you're drinking soda, you probably are not drinking enough water.

Rory and Kim's question to you: Did you know your diet soda was making you fat, sick, and unhappy?!

Soda (regular and diet) is like cigarettes. You can smoke them today and feel pretty good---and even attribute the "good" to the cigarettes. However, you are causing your body to rot from the inside. I'm not kidding when I say you are rotting, but that's another topic for another post.

If you need soda to feel normal, you are addicted. If you can't function without it, your body is begging you to change. It's simple. Maybe you don't want to change yet---and that's your choice. I'm sure you have a justifiable reason for not doing anything differently. But when you're ready, the information is available to you.

My recommendation is to stay away from soda altogether. When I'm coaching, I don't project my opinions in an assertive way---it would make people angry, and a lot of the time, they aren't ready for the information because they are not ready to make a significant change. With soda, and anything else in wellness, you don't have to go from point A (drinking soda) to point B (not) all at once. In person, I probably wouldn't have given you all this info at once. But if you ask me, I will tell you---and someone asked me about diet soda this week. So there you go :)

It's Not Easy Being Green?

I’ve always liked Kermit the Frog. I put him right up there with Piglet, Oscar’s pet worm Slimey, and Boober from Fraggle Rock. I just don't really get what the problem is with his color. Why is it hard for a frog to be green? Isn’t blending into his surroundings good for his safety? Aren’t a lot of good things green---money, plants, etc?

I know, this is a stretch, but think about it the next time you feel badly about something in your life. Is what you’re feeling badly about really bad? Is there some other way you could think about it that wouldn’t make you feel that way?


A great wellness example of this is diet---if you view a diet as difficult and undesirable, it will be. Period.

Most of our feelings are based on our perspective. If we think being green is bad, well then, it is. If we change how we look at something, it changes, and how we feel changes too---kind of like how Kermit changes his mind by the end of the song.

Do It Not Wanting To

When I was a kid, whatever I left laying around the house, my mom would pile up on the bottom few steps--headed upstairs. If she saw me heading in that direction, she would say, "Take your stuff up when you go!"

I cannot describe to you the sinking feeling this gave me. It was awful, the worst task ever to reach down, pick up my stuff, and carry it all the way up the stairs. Most of the time, I whined and groaned something like, "I don't waaaaaaaaaant to." (Either that or I would avoid going upstairs for hours so I didn't have to do it)

My Mom's response (with a smile), "Do it Not Wanting To!"

She adopted this phrase for many things. It was infuriating, and at the same time---liberating.

Let's just say you really really don't want to go to the gym today. But if you don't go, you're not going to meet your goal for the week of going 3 times (and you really aren't doing anything else). So you have this "should" feeling at the same time as your inner whiner is begging you not to go. When you admit you don't want to, and tell yourself to do it anyway, you've relieved your "want" from having a say in the matter. Surprisingly, the dread becomes less severe when you've acknowledged you're not crazy about what you're doing next.

Chances are, if you do those pesky things you'd like yourself to do that you don't feeeeeeeeeel like doing, you'll feel better about yourself and your productivity at the end of the day.

Decisions and Stress

I teach an online course for DeVry University, and we cover all the same concepts that come up during my wellness coaching (which is great!)----but then, I also have to grade papers and discussions. I won't lie, its not fun. In fact, right now, I should be grading last week's discussion posts. But I'm debating on whether or not to go to yoga class this evening. If I do, I'll be 2 hours behind on my grading and have to go to bed much later than I want to. If I don't, I'll go to bed earlier, but I'll know I didn't work out today and I won't feel great about that. So I've just wasted 15 minutes contemplating (and writing about it), and still no decision and nothing accomplished.

For many people, decision-making leads to a higher stress level, and inability to choose---and a sort of paralysis. Have you ever felt like time keeps moving, but you're just standing still--even though you know there are LOTS of things you should be doing? That's me, now.

What can you do about it? Who knows! :)

Honest, I don't really know---its something you have to figure out on your own. Making lists works for some people. Weighing options, asking opinions, or flipping a coin might work too. The real point is to have a strategy for when these things come up. Devise a method (usually through trial and error) that works for you.

Most of the decisions we make on a day-to-day basis are inconsequential to our long-term well-being, but add them all up and they can make or break how you feel (and what you've accomplished) at the end of a day.

Don't Return a Kindness, Pass It On

I have a friend who works in a psychologist's office. Actually, I think it's a group of psychologists, and she checks in patients and deals with paperwork. According to her, there is more activity there at this time of year than any other. She said she cannot believe how depressed people are, and how awful it is to see them go through it.

It makes sense. It's dark and dreary out (in the Northeast anyway!), the holidays have come and gone (and many people don't have family or friends to celebrate with). What's next? Well, I'll tell you---months of working and being cold and having it be dark early in the evening and in the morning too.

So, we're all in the same boat on this one. Could we possibly make the next few months a little more pleasant for someone else?

Up until she moved recently, my Mom had two little slates displayed in her house. One, written by my great aunt in the '80s, said, "Have you had your hot fudge today?" The other one said, "Don't return a kindness, pass it on." It reminds me of the movie Pay It Forward----spread out the goodness to others. Could we really make a difference by doing this? I think so.

Examples:
A woman at work told me about sharing her sub with a classmate one night in her evening college course---she didn't know the woman, but why not?

My sister used to hire the young son of a co-worker (who didn't have a lot of money) to do odd jobs around her house (that she could easily have done herself), and then she would feed him and take him home at the end of the day.

What can you do this week that would make someone else's life easier, and to also remind them that not everything is dark and cold in the winter?

Don't Forget to Breathe

"Keep breathing! I don't know much, but I know if you don't breathe, you won't make it to the end of class!"

My yoga instructor said this today as we were in a particularly challenging position. The concept of breathing in yoga is fundamental. Breath enhances yoga and yoga improves the breath. When you do yoga, and focus on your breath, you can be in the moment. You've probably heard the advice many times to stay in the present moment. Its great advice, but without some help and contextual information on how to do that, its not all that helpful. I've finished an entire yoga practice before and not had one relevant present-moment empty-fulfilling thought. I've also finished a class and felt like I floated through the entire thing thought-less. So the answer to how to stay in the moment is much like the answer to how to find happiness. You don't strive to achieve it, you just experience it now.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because in my world of wellness coaching, I'm switching gears a little bit to focus for the next few months on stress/depression/anxiety management. Part of some traditional approaches are going to be important, but we'll also be extending what we've already talked about. Even if you don't have issues with managing your emotions, you may still find the information useful. I think it will apply to other things too---losing weight, eating healthy, quitting smoking, exercising:

"The outer situation is always a reflection of the collective inner situation." - Peace Pilgrim

Think about what these quotes might mean in your life. In general, most people strive or search for happiness---by reaching certain milestones or by making other people happy. In all truthfulness, although goal setting is good and helpful, if you have that mindset you will just keep creating new goals for when you can reach your happiness---and you'll likely never get there.

"In order to have something, you must first be something." - Goethe

"Instead of achieving to be happy, happily achieve."-David Wolfe

In the moments when you can't relate to these statements, try focusing on your breathing for a minute. Its a great way to re-focus some wayward perspective that has crept up on you.

Naughty or Nice---It's not so black and white!

The other day when Matthew was visiting, all of a sudden he blurted out, "Damn mother f***!" Joe and I looked at each other, and then at him, and said, WHAT?! He repeated it and then giggled. We proceeded to talk to him about bad words and how even though he hears grown-ups saying them, he'll have to wait until he's a grown-up till he can decide whether he wants to talk that way or not: Kids cannot swear. Especially not in school.
At that moment, my phone buzzed and I picked it up to read a text message. Matthew asked, "Who are you calling," with a little fear in his voice.
I said, "I'm sending Santa a text message to tell him the naughty words you said."
He looked at me for a minute, contemplating what that could mean, and then moved on and we changed the subject.

The next morning when Matthew woke up, I asked him what he had dreamed about and he said, "I saw Santa, and he told me he got a text message saying I am a good boy."
I laughed for a second and then explained to him that Santa will get text messages all throughout the year telling him when Matthew is a good boy, and also when he makes some not-so-good-choices. That way at the end of the year, he can decide whether or not he should bring presents. He looked and me and said, "Yeah, I know."

I started to think about how this applies to our wellness goals, and it's really pretty much the same concept. We set a goal (to get presents, lose weight, quit smoking, decrease stress, etc.). Then we live our lives, doing things that will both lead us closer and further away from our goals. At the end of the year, we don't have to be perfect, we just have to have reached a balance that will make us comfortable living our lives and also helped us enough to reach our goals. Thinking this way is part of not having that all-or-nothing mindset I've mentioned before. It's part of not beating ourselves up for not following a plan perfectly---but also, not giving up when we fall off the wagon for a minute. We are human and make mistakes, and when we do, it's not necessarily a deal-breaker for goal accomplishment. Keep this perspective, and find your balance for thriving in life while maintaining some breathing room.

Santa never said you had to be perfect to get presents, just nice enough to balance out the naughtiness! We all have the tools (or the help and support) to figure out what that balance is.