1. In a relationship, your partner should only fulfill 25% of your needs (you need to fulfill yourself for the rest!) (from How to be an adult in relationships by David Richo)
2. If you're stuck on learning how to change your actions, just act that way and it will help you learn. (Fake it till you make it!)
3. Life is full of "contrary complements" to help you live in balance (borrowed from the Anusara manual by John Friend):
effort and surrender
courage and contentment
resolution and acceptance
willpower and humility
boldness and prudence
vigor and gentleness
steadfastness and the ability to yield
stillness and playfulness
steadiness and softness
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
More perspective
"There are no mistakes, only lessons." -- Desiree Rumbaugh
What does this mean to you? To me, it looks like maybe we should stop beating ourselves up for everything that has happened, our choices, our failures, our outcomes....and start deciding that we can learn from them in each present moment.
If you've failed at your "diet" 199 times in the past 199 days, how do you feel today? If you've tried the same things, and felt the same way after each failure, you'll probably fail today too. Especially if you blame yourself and feel guilty. What if you take a moment to really identify what goes wrong in your failures---where is it coming from? Then, back to my old stand-by advice---try something new and different.
Yes, I'm repeating myself :) But I learned this again today, and I thought maybe you could use a reminder too----and when you're ready, it will work. It may not be "easy" to achieve this, but it is simple. So all I can suggest is that we keep trying.
What does this mean to you? To me, it looks like maybe we should stop beating ourselves up for everything that has happened, our choices, our failures, our outcomes....and start deciding that we can learn from them in each present moment.
If you've failed at your "diet" 199 times in the past 199 days, how do you feel today? If you've tried the same things, and felt the same way after each failure, you'll probably fail today too. Especially if you blame yourself and feel guilty. What if you take a moment to really identify what goes wrong in your failures---where is it coming from? Then, back to my old stand-by advice---try something new and different.
Yes, I'm repeating myself :) But I learned this again today, and I thought maybe you could use a reminder too----and when you're ready, it will work. It may not be "easy" to achieve this, but it is simple. So all I can suggest is that we keep trying.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Yoga
When I first took a yoga class in 2001, I thought it was boring. I had just moved to Boston, and was working for the Air Force fitness program, and one of the things I coordinated was the aerobics program----no, I didn't teach for the program. That would be a horrible disaster. I did, however, have to spend about $100K in appropriated funds in one week before it was taken away and given to someone else.... So, my co-worker Heidi and I went to Hyannis (Cape) for a weekend yoga teacher training. It was YogaFit, specifically.
They gave us a huge F350 gas/biodiesel truck to drive down there for the weekend, and we hit the road early on Saturday morning. Heidi is a great lady, and we were sort of in the same boat---the opposite of yogis. The weekend was ok. I got sick of sitting up straight in criss-cross-applesauce (politically correct for "indian style"---I learned that from Matthew) for hours, listening to people talk. I had to put together a little sequence for Sunday and "teach it" to the class. I really didn't like that part either. I'm more likely to want to blend into the woodwork in situations like that...quietly observing....
So, I didn't get much out of the weekend, taught probably 10 yoga classes.....and then moved on with my life.
>>Fast forward to now.
I started doing yoga at Breathe in Pittsford over a year ago because I needed stress relief and fitness. I had heard it was heated (90 degrees) and pretty intense vinyasa flow...it is. I love it for cardio, strength, and flexibility training...and sweating. I moved on to do most of my yoga at Midtown, same style.
This week I'm at the Kripalu Institute taking a 5-day Anusara Intensive workshop with Desiree Rumbaugh. I didn't know what Anusara was, really, but it's no flow...that's for sure. It's better, precise, deep, challenging. I think it will be the perfect complement to my flow-mojo when I'm back at home.
It's day one, and I'm just taking this break time to grade labs (there is no vacation from online education!)---ok, so I'm not grading labs yet, but I'm on the computer, so I'm closer than if I were outside.
I've already learned a lot, and I'd like to share some of it with you.
1. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong.
2. You can heal yourself with yoga, mentally and physically
3. Many yogis are very prideful about their type of yoga, but ultimately it doesn't matter what style your yoga is or who you trained with---the end goal is all the same---feel happy, love yourself, and be nice to other people.
They gave us a huge F350 gas/biodiesel truck to drive down there for the weekend, and we hit the road early on Saturday morning. Heidi is a great lady, and we were sort of in the same boat---the opposite of yogis. The weekend was ok. I got sick of sitting up straight in criss-cross-applesauce (politically correct for "indian style"---I learned that from Matthew) for hours, listening to people talk. I had to put together a little sequence for Sunday and "teach it" to the class. I really didn't like that part either. I'm more likely to want to blend into the woodwork in situations like that...quietly observing....
So, I didn't get much out of the weekend, taught probably 10 yoga classes.....and then moved on with my life.
>>Fast forward to now.
I started doing yoga at Breathe in Pittsford over a year ago because I needed stress relief and fitness. I had heard it was heated (90 degrees) and pretty intense vinyasa flow...it is. I love it for cardio, strength, and flexibility training...and sweating. I moved on to do most of my yoga at Midtown, same style.
This week I'm at the Kripalu Institute taking a 5-day Anusara Intensive workshop with Desiree Rumbaugh. I didn't know what Anusara was, really, but it's no flow...that's for sure. It's better, precise, deep, challenging. I think it will be the perfect complement to my flow-mojo when I'm back at home.
It's day one, and I'm just taking this break time to grade labs (there is no vacation from online education!)---ok, so I'm not grading labs yet, but I'm on the computer, so I'm closer than if I were outside.
I've already learned a lot, and I'd like to share some of it with you.
1. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong.
2. You can heal yourself with yoga, mentally and physically
3. Many yogis are very prideful about their type of yoga, but ultimately it doesn't matter what style your yoga is or who you trained with---the end goal is all the same---feel happy, love yourself, and be nice to other people.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Think.
I was at the gym on Sunday morning at (what I thought was) peak workout time. I almost put it off because I didn't want to deal with the parking lot, and then I decided that was a dumb reason not to go when I wanted to. I must have gotten there ahead of the curve because there was plenty of parking.....when I went in. When I came out it was a whole different story. Because I had gotten a good parking spot, I was in the front section of the lot, and everyone who entered the parking lot after that had two choices. (1) Go in the front entrance on the chance there'd be a spot open. (2) Just go to the back entrance and park (really) far away.
There were 6 cars jamming up the parking lot----no one could get in or out. People pulled up too far so no one could back out or get out of the way. It struck me as really funny that people are so intent on getting a good spot at the gym....in the summer, when the weather was actually good.
We get so focused on getting the best and beating other people that sometimes we forget to think about what makes the most sense in the moment.
Think for a second when you're in situations like this-----is it worth fighting for the spot....or could you just park in the back lot (and probably get in/out faster), but just have to walk further? It could be your pre-warm-up.
There were 6 cars jamming up the parking lot----no one could get in or out. People pulled up too far so no one could back out or get out of the way. It struck me as really funny that people are so intent on getting a good spot at the gym....in the summer, when the weather was actually good.
We get so focused on getting the best and beating other people that sometimes we forget to think about what makes the most sense in the moment.
Think for a second when you're in situations like this-----is it worth fighting for the spot....or could you just park in the back lot (and probably get in/out faster), but just have to walk further? It could be your pre-warm-up.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Journey
When I was a senior in high school, we had the opportunity to choose a quote to go under our picture in the yearbook. I really didn't have anything or any quote that resonated with me at the time. I considered saying something like, "You're right, I do hate you." (I wasn't all that happy back then) I'm glad I didn't choose something like that, because I think sometimes the things we say can be prophetic.
And I'm not getting all metaphysical on you, but you can take it there if you want to. All I'm saying is that the tone of our voices, our words, our inner and outer projections and feelings, all impact our outcomes.
At the time when I was a senior, I didn't really know what to do with my life (do I now?), but my only real goal was to do something easy that made a lot of money. I ended up choosing something for my senior quote that spoke about destinations and journeys, and how its the journey that matters. I didn't care much about the sentiment behind it, and even afterward, I kind of thought it was a dumb thing for me to say because I didn't really feel that way at the time.
I think, though, I'm slowly changing my mind. I've grown up a bit (in some ways), been through some hard stuff, and achieved some things I'm proud of. I've had a lot of fun at times. Through it all, I've started to realize that it sure isn't the end result that matters most. After all, the end result comes at the end of something. Wouldn't it be better to just feel good all throughout?
Of course there are things we do that we prefer not to, things we can't control, and obligations we have that aren't always fun. But sometimes we do have control, and even when we don't, we have control over how we feel and how we react in the moment.
Here at RIT, there are many many nice and outwardly friendly people. There are also people who are probably friendly, but it's just not as easy to tell. I like going to certain places on campus where I know when I walk in, someone will be saying hello with a smile (even if they're busy and telling me it's not a good time to talk). I'll always return the smile. I promise. I like it when my daily journey is easy---and I don't mean workload, I mean the floaty comfortable kind of easy, where people are friendly and happy. And if they're not happy, that's ok, but figuring it out and trying to see the best in things and feel better is important. When we stop trying, that's when we've started missing the point.
What makes your journey more enjoyable?
And I'm not getting all metaphysical on you, but you can take it there if you want to. All I'm saying is that the tone of our voices, our words, our inner and outer projections and feelings, all impact our outcomes.
At the time when I was a senior, I didn't really know what to do with my life (do I now?), but my only real goal was to do something easy that made a lot of money. I ended up choosing something for my senior quote that spoke about destinations and journeys, and how its the journey that matters. I didn't care much about the sentiment behind it, and even afterward, I kind of thought it was a dumb thing for me to say because I didn't really feel that way at the time.
I think, though, I'm slowly changing my mind. I've grown up a bit (in some ways), been through some hard stuff, and achieved some things I'm proud of. I've had a lot of fun at times. Through it all, I've started to realize that it sure isn't the end result that matters most. After all, the end result comes at the end of something. Wouldn't it be better to just feel good all throughout?
Of course there are things we do that we prefer not to, things we can't control, and obligations we have that aren't always fun. But sometimes we do have control, and even when we don't, we have control over how we feel and how we react in the moment.
Here at RIT, there are many many nice and outwardly friendly people. There are also people who are probably friendly, but it's just not as easy to tell. I like going to certain places on campus where I know when I walk in, someone will be saying hello with a smile (even if they're busy and telling me it's not a good time to talk). I'll always return the smile. I promise. I like it when my daily journey is easy---and I don't mean workload, I mean the floaty comfortable kind of easy, where people are friendly and happy. And if they're not happy, that's ok, but figuring it out and trying to see the best in things and feel better is important. When we stop trying, that's when we've started missing the point.
What makes your journey more enjoyable?
Monday, July 6, 2009
Know when to fold 'em
Today was a bust. Seriously, I was completely unproductive, wasted half a vacation day, and felt like a big lazy waste of space.... How's that for motivating you to strive for your wellness goals!!??
The story is that I ran 9 miles yesterday morning. It was absolutely beautiful and peaceful on the canal path at 6:30am...and no geese chasing me this time (but that's another story...). The air quality was the best I've experienced since I began running this year. No humidity, crisp. For some reason, this must have made me work harder than I normally do. I felt great---my pace was almost 20 seconds faster than normal for the last 4.5 miles... then at mile 6 or 7, my right calf muscle seized up...and (mistake #1) I kept running. It didn't make me stop, and I was sort of confused about it, so I assumed it was an annoying cramp (which doesn't make sense because of all the coconut water I've been drinking...another story). I nearly sprinted (mistake #2) the last .5 mile because I felt so awesome. Then (mistake #3) I walked a quick lap around the parking lot at Lock 32 before getting in the car. My calf was killing me, to the point of me not being able to walk quite right...and a strange spot in the middle of the outside of my foot hurt too.
Short story----I'm crippled and frustrated. I iced it, but I knew today would be a loss at work. Walking around all day just wasn't going to happen. Went in for the morning to do weigh-ins, and then left. I'm supposed to run tomorrow, Wed, and Thurs to prepare for the Boilermaker 15K next Sun. I'm trying to determine if I should hold off a day (I might have to, actually). This may be a lesson for me---I often help people try and make right decisions about when to rest and when to jump back into a plan. Gotta find that balance, feed the overachiever in me, and also be smart so I can get back to where I need to be.
I certainly could have made better choices today about what to eat as I wasted the day, but I didn't! Tomorrow is a new day----recovering, making good choices, and not wasting the day. What was your Monday-after-the-long-weekend like?
The story is that I ran 9 miles yesterday morning. It was absolutely beautiful and peaceful on the canal path at 6:30am...and no geese chasing me this time (but that's another story...). The air quality was the best I've experienced since I began running this year. No humidity, crisp. For some reason, this must have made me work harder than I normally do. I felt great---my pace was almost 20 seconds faster than normal for the last 4.5 miles... then at mile 6 or 7, my right calf muscle seized up...and (mistake #1) I kept running. It didn't make me stop, and I was sort of confused about it, so I assumed it was an annoying cramp (which doesn't make sense because of all the coconut water I've been drinking...another story). I nearly sprinted (mistake #2) the last .5 mile because I felt so awesome. Then (mistake #3) I walked a quick lap around the parking lot at Lock 32 before getting in the car. My calf was killing me, to the point of me not being able to walk quite right...and a strange spot in the middle of the outside of my foot hurt too.
Short story----I'm crippled and frustrated. I iced it, but I knew today would be a loss at work. Walking around all day just wasn't going to happen. Went in for the morning to do weigh-ins, and then left. I'm supposed to run tomorrow, Wed, and Thurs to prepare for the Boilermaker 15K next Sun. I'm trying to determine if I should hold off a day (I might have to, actually). This may be a lesson for me---I often help people try and make right decisions about when to rest and when to jump back into a plan. Gotta find that balance, feed the overachiever in me, and also be smart so I can get back to where I need to be.
I certainly could have made better choices today about what to eat as I wasted the day, but I didn't! Tomorrow is a new day----recovering, making good choices, and not wasting the day. What was your Monday-after-the-long-weekend like?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Mindless Eating
Do you remember Cookie Monster? What a silly question, of course you do! Everyone knows Cookie Monster and his insatiable appetite for cookies.
The scene I remember most is of Cookie Monster singing, "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me..." and then chomping the cookies so fast and hard that styrofoam cookie bits fly all over the place (of course, this is also due to the fact that he's a puppet and can't swallow, but the impact is the same).
Today, Cookie Monster doesn't sing this song anymore. Cookies are promoted on Sesame Street as a "Sometimes Snack." Doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it? This is also one of the reasons for when the 70's TV show series was released on DVD there was a disclaimer saying it's "not appropriate for today's preschooler."
Should we blame Cookie Monster for our insatiable appetites? Who knows. I do know that he has presented us with a very interesting way of thinking about our food habits. The cookies on Sesame Street always looked like standard chocolate chip, but no one ever discussed the flavor or type. Did Cookie Monster prefer peanut butter? Oatmeal? Snickerdoodles? He seemed to just have a general lust for ingesting lots of cookies...fast.
Do you ever feel like you do this? This is sort of like mindless eating---we think, "FOOD, I like FOOD (insert whatever type you like)". Then we proceed to eat large quantities of food, often too quickly. We have decided we like picnics and parties--so when we go to one, we eat too much of everything.
Do you ever stop and take a minute to even determine if there's something you don't really want today? Take 4th of July picnics for example. You go to a picnic, and there's a huge spread of picnic foods. Do you look at the food, think about what you're really in the mood for, and eat that? Or do you just eat everything on the table that you like in general? Believe me, there will always be more potato salad, pasta salad, baked beans, hot dogs, hamburgers...whatever. If you were to look at the food before digging in, and then check in with your body and mind to see what is really going to be fulfilling to you today, what would happen? Would you miss out on something? Maybe. But will there be more of that something another time? Yes.
Be discriminatory when it comes to food. If you like chocolate chip cookies, but today you're really craving brownies, pass on the cookie and have a brownie!
The scene I remember most is of Cookie Monster singing, "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me..." and then chomping the cookies so fast and hard that styrofoam cookie bits fly all over the place (of course, this is also due to the fact that he's a puppet and can't swallow, but the impact is the same).
Today, Cookie Monster doesn't sing this song anymore. Cookies are promoted on Sesame Street as a "Sometimes Snack." Doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it? This is also one of the reasons for when the 70's TV show series was released on DVD there was a disclaimer saying it's "not appropriate for today's preschooler."
Should we blame Cookie Monster for our insatiable appetites? Who knows. I do know that he has presented us with a very interesting way of thinking about our food habits. The cookies on Sesame Street always looked like standard chocolate chip, but no one ever discussed the flavor or type. Did Cookie Monster prefer peanut butter? Oatmeal? Snickerdoodles? He seemed to just have a general lust for ingesting lots of cookies...fast.
Do you ever feel like you do this? This is sort of like mindless eating---we think, "FOOD, I like FOOD (insert whatever type you like)". Then we proceed to eat large quantities of food, often too quickly. We have decided we like picnics and parties--so when we go to one, we eat too much of everything.
Do you ever stop and take a minute to even determine if there's something you don't really want today? Take 4th of July picnics for example. You go to a picnic, and there's a huge spread of picnic foods. Do you look at the food, think about what you're really in the mood for, and eat that? Or do you just eat everything on the table that you like in general? Believe me, there will always be more potato salad, pasta salad, baked beans, hot dogs, hamburgers...whatever. If you were to look at the food before digging in, and then check in with your body and mind to see what is really going to be fulfilling to you today, what would happen? Would you miss out on something? Maybe. But will there be more of that something another time? Yes.
Be discriminatory when it comes to food. If you like chocolate chip cookies, but today you're really craving brownies, pass on the cookie and have a brownie!
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