I like the idea of becoming healthier through telling your story. It's kind of the foundation I used in my own research, and I am seeing it more and more all the time.
My friend Monica, who works at a place where I used to do wellness coaching, is trying this out---blog-style. She hails from a little town outside Pittsburgh, and lives south of Rochester for now. Read her blog....start at the bottom and read up http://www.journeyhome.typepad.com/
Think about what your story would look like if you were to start writing it down...
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Indentify your Indentity
We all have "things" we identify ourselves by, even if we don't actually walk around with those labels displayed for everyone. You may call yourself a smoker, a health nut, a fat person, a stupid person, an intelligent person, etc.
It's interesting to look at how our personal conceptions of our identities inform how we can actually (or can't) change. I think the easiest example is to look at someone addicted to something---let's make it obvious and just talk about heroin :)
So a person who calls themselves a "heroin addict" is never going to be successful at changing (most likely). Why? Because if you see yourself as a heroin addict, you may be able to stop using it temporarily, but you're still an addict who is not using it and you will start again. This is really common for people who are overweight too---if you call yourself a chubby person, you will have a much more difficult time changing it permanently (ever heard of yo-yo dieting?).
BUT
Let's say you see yourself as a health nut. If you label yourself as "health nut" and really read up on it and believe it to be true and start acting like a health nut, you can change your weight. Eventually, the habits you do that are causing your extra pounds will change. But if you focus on being overweight, you are just fulfilling the label.
There have been so many studies on this, but we still don't really follow it (maybe we like to call ourselves names?). A related example is a study in which classrooms were labeled as either regular or gifted (where there were no difference in the abilities of the students, just randomly selected). The "gifted" students not only thought of themselves as smarter but they also performed as gifted students would. Even those students who had been previously labeled as needing extra help. This study was used to demonstrate that the way teachers perceive their students determined how they taught and treated the students. They held students to higher standards and the students themselves also knew they were being called gifted, so they lived up to the expectations.
Why not use this to our own advantage? What do you want to be? Smart, organized, beautiful, funny, life of the party.........? If so, then stop calling yourself average or worse. Make lists of the identity traits you want. Then focus on those instead of the names you've been calling yourself up till now. Just see what happens!
It's interesting to look at how our personal conceptions of our identities inform how we can actually (or can't) change. I think the easiest example is to look at someone addicted to something---let's make it obvious and just talk about heroin :)
So a person who calls themselves a "heroin addict" is never going to be successful at changing (most likely). Why? Because if you see yourself as a heroin addict, you may be able to stop using it temporarily, but you're still an addict who is not using it and you will start again. This is really common for people who are overweight too---if you call yourself a chubby person, you will have a much more difficult time changing it permanently (ever heard of yo-yo dieting?).
BUT
Let's say you see yourself as a health nut. If you label yourself as "health nut" and really read up on it and believe it to be true and start acting like a health nut, you can change your weight. Eventually, the habits you do that are causing your extra pounds will change. But if you focus on being overweight, you are just fulfilling the label.
There have been so many studies on this, but we still don't really follow it (maybe we like to call ourselves names?). A related example is a study in which classrooms were labeled as either regular or gifted (where there were no difference in the abilities of the students, just randomly selected). The "gifted" students not only thought of themselves as smarter but they also performed as gifted students would. Even those students who had been previously labeled as needing extra help. This study was used to demonstrate that the way teachers perceive their students determined how they taught and treated the students. They held students to higher standards and the students themselves also knew they were being called gifted, so they lived up to the expectations.
Why not use this to our own advantage? What do you want to be? Smart, organized, beautiful, funny, life of the party.........? If so, then stop calling yourself average or worse. Make lists of the identity traits you want. Then focus on those instead of the names you've been calling yourself up till now. Just see what happens!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Go Bowling to Be Healthy
Huh??!! Go bowling to be healthy? Well, maybe it's not that simple. But here's the story:
Dr. Robert Putnam of Harvard University, wrote a book called "Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community." The book is very heavy on statistics and I wouldn't recommend it if you're looking for a light and quick read. Let me tell you what I got out of it (I didn't read all of it either).
Possibly the most eye-opening catch phrase in the book says something about how if you're a smoker and you want to cut your chance of dying in half this year, you should either quit smoking or join a civic association (think: The Elks Club).
What?!
Let me back up a little bit. I'm interested in the concept of Social Capital, which "refers to connections among individuals -- social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them (Putnam)." Over the last several decades, social capital has declined very quickly and significantly. This is a big deal, and it's not just that we miss the good old days. "School performance, public health, crime rates, clinical depression, tax compliance, philanthropy, race relations, community development, census returns, teen suicide, economic productivity, campaign finance, even simple human happiness -- all are demonstrably affected by how (and whether) we connect with our family and friends and neighbors and co-workers."
To bring this back around to the bowling reference, Putnam talks about how people used to join bowling leagues, and now are significantly less likely to do so---they still might bowl but it's on an occasional basis where social bonds are not formed as deeply.
Low social capital leads to more depression, sickness, colds, cancer, stroke, heart attacks, and unexpected death in general.
What should you do? You don't have to join the Elks Club if you don't want to. You could go on a walk with a neighbor, or better yet, get together with neighbors and throw a block party. Turn off the TV and the Internet during your free time and do something more social. If you don't want to go out partying or socializing and schmoozing all the time, you don't have to (I'm pretty thankful for that---I love being home). Find the social connections you like, and just do those more. You don't have to have a million friends, just make sure the bonds you have with the ones you want are strong and that you interact meaningfully and casually with the people you care about on a regular basis.
This was a big boring book, but it had so many statistics that clearly proved this point, that it is certainly worth mentioning. Over the decades, technology, life pace increases, dual-career households, and more have impacted our time spent investing in social capital. The bottom line is that the value of social capital is undeniable. You can ignore it if you choose----but if you do ignore it, you might just want to quit smoking and improve your odds of survival :)
Dr. Robert Putnam of Harvard University, wrote a book called "Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community." The book is very heavy on statistics and I wouldn't recommend it if you're looking for a light and quick read. Let me tell you what I got out of it (I didn't read all of it either).
Possibly the most eye-opening catch phrase in the book says something about how if you're a smoker and you want to cut your chance of dying in half this year, you should either quit smoking or join a civic association (think: The Elks Club).
What?!
Let me back up a little bit. I'm interested in the concept of Social Capital, which "refers to connections among individuals -- social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them (Putnam)." Over the last several decades, social capital has declined very quickly and significantly. This is a big deal, and it's not just that we miss the good old days. "School performance, public health, crime rates, clinical depression, tax compliance, philanthropy, race relations, community development, census returns, teen suicide, economic productivity, campaign finance, even simple human happiness -- all are demonstrably affected by how (and whether) we connect with our family and friends and neighbors and co-workers."
To bring this back around to the bowling reference, Putnam talks about how people used to join bowling leagues, and now are significantly less likely to do so---they still might bowl but it's on an occasional basis where social bonds are not formed as deeply.
Low social capital leads to more depression, sickness, colds, cancer, stroke, heart attacks, and unexpected death in general.
What should you do? You don't have to join the Elks Club if you don't want to. You could go on a walk with a neighbor, or better yet, get together with neighbors and throw a block party. Turn off the TV and the Internet during your free time and do something more social. If you don't want to go out partying or socializing and schmoozing all the time, you don't have to (I'm pretty thankful for that---I love being home). Find the social connections you like, and just do those more. You don't have to have a million friends, just make sure the bonds you have with the ones you want are strong and that you interact meaningfully and casually with the people you care about on a regular basis.
This was a big boring book, but it had so many statistics that clearly proved this point, that it is certainly worth mentioning. Over the decades, technology, life pace increases, dual-career households, and more have impacted our time spent investing in social capital. The bottom line is that the value of social capital is undeniable. You can ignore it if you choose----but if you do ignore it, you might just want to quit smoking and improve your odds of survival :)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Don't Worry and Don't Hurry
One of my new favorite things to do is to download and listen to podcasts while I'm doing cardio. I am kind of tired of listening to the radio, and I'm a little short on time for reading, so I figured the next best thing (and way to keep feeding my seek-aholic brain) would be to listen to people talk.
Yesterday, I was listening to an interview by Dhrumil from www.welikeitraw.com. He was interviewing Dr. Alejandro Junger (remember the guy who wrote Clean?). By the way, I'm still totally sold on the Cleaning/Detoxing idea, but I have more opinions now that I've "read" 3 more books after Clean on the same topic. I'll save that for later.
Anyway, Dr. Junger talked about his life, and progression of events that led him to developing the Clean program and writing the book. It was interesting, but one thing that really stuck out to me was a conversation he talked about that he had with a spiritual leader at an Ashram in upstate NY. He spent time there before and after going to India to practice medicine. When he returned to the states, he was confused about what direction to go in life---he was widely known and respected for his cardiology expertise, but India also valued what he could offer them in the way of developing their medical offerings.
His spiritual leader eventually told him she had two pieces of advice for him:
1. Don't worry.
2. Don't hurry.
The point was that all he had to know was what direction he wanted to go (in his case, to keep learning and to keep helping people). If he followed this purpose, he wouldn't need to worry about what to do or how to do it, and it would happen naturally---he didn't need to try and make it happen faster.
It reminds me of wellness coaching because we are always going outside (backward and forward) of our current moment. We obsess about things we did (how we messed up and reflecting that on how we'll act in the future), and things we hope we can make ourselves do (intensity about getting what we want and thinking of the end results of not getting it---worrying about what will happen to us).
If we could just re-focus on what's happening right now, we'd be much better off. Worry is just a negative excuse to not do anything differently right now---let the world happen to you because you're paralyzed by what might happen anyway. When we look at things this way, we don't change our behaviors. Additionally, when we constantly obsess about what the future might bring, we try to hurry things along, usually involving some kind of mental process and intensity about trying to control things in life that we have no control over---or just plain hurrying, and making each moment intense trying to get to the next. If we relax, do our work and feel good, we're more productive in the end anyway.
So, don't worry, and don't hurry. Just take time to identify what's most important to you, and figure out how to mesh that with feeling good.
Yesterday, I was listening to an interview by Dhrumil from www.welikeitraw.com. He was interviewing Dr. Alejandro Junger (remember the guy who wrote Clean?). By the way, I'm still totally sold on the Cleaning/Detoxing idea, but I have more opinions now that I've "read" 3 more books after Clean on the same topic. I'll save that for later.
Anyway, Dr. Junger talked about his life, and progression of events that led him to developing the Clean program and writing the book. It was interesting, but one thing that really stuck out to me was a conversation he talked about that he had with a spiritual leader at an Ashram in upstate NY. He spent time there before and after going to India to practice medicine. When he returned to the states, he was confused about what direction to go in life---he was widely known and respected for his cardiology expertise, but India also valued what he could offer them in the way of developing their medical offerings.
His spiritual leader eventually told him she had two pieces of advice for him:
1. Don't worry.
2. Don't hurry.
The point was that all he had to know was what direction he wanted to go (in his case, to keep learning and to keep helping people). If he followed this purpose, he wouldn't need to worry about what to do or how to do it, and it would happen naturally---he didn't need to try and make it happen faster.
It reminds me of wellness coaching because we are always going outside (backward and forward) of our current moment. We obsess about things we did (how we messed up and reflecting that on how we'll act in the future), and things we hope we can make ourselves do (intensity about getting what we want and thinking of the end results of not getting it---worrying about what will happen to us).
If we could just re-focus on what's happening right now, we'd be much better off. Worry is just a negative excuse to not do anything differently right now---let the world happen to you because you're paralyzed by what might happen anyway. When we look at things this way, we don't change our behaviors. Additionally, when we constantly obsess about what the future might bring, we try to hurry things along, usually involving some kind of mental process and intensity about trying to control things in life that we have no control over---or just plain hurrying, and making each moment intense trying to get to the next. If we relax, do our work and feel good, we're more productive in the end anyway.
So, don't worry, and don't hurry. Just take time to identify what's most important to you, and figure out how to mesh that with feeling good.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
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Vega
Have I mentioned to you how much I love these products?
http://sequelnaturals.com/vega
I have been buying the Whole Food Vibrancy Bars (specifically the Green Synergy and Chocolate). They are about $2.40 a piece at Lori's Natural Foods in Henrietta, and have 200 calories. So, don't just add them to your day----substitute them in for something else!
I am also trying the drink powders this week---they sell single serving and also the big containers of the stuff.
I'm pasting the Guiding Principles here because I think you should read it! Don't get overwhelmed---this is suggesting best-case-scenario. Pick some things you could do in your life, and don't worry that it's not perfect... you don't have to buy the Vega products to work towards meeting these principles!
Guiding Principles
Quite often the simplest solution is the best one. Over the past 50 years, however, our Western culture has managed to complicate matters concerning diet and its relation to health. Obesity and malnourishment exist simultaneously while the over-consumption of calorie-rich but nutrient-poor foods drain our energy. To make matters worse, we treat obesity with drugs and fad diets and combat fatigue with refined carbohydrates, sugar and caffeine. These are short-term solutions that eventually render us energy depleted, over-stimulated, chronically stressed and vulnerable to illness and premature aging.
So what can we do to address this problem? Today, many health experts believe the solution is to consume primarily plant-based whole foods; pure and simple as nature intended. Whole foods support all the requirements of a healthy body system, from absorption to elimination.
The challenge with whole foods has always been their relative inconvenience to prepare, compared to the gamut of fast food offerings so readily available to us. Born of the belief that one should not have to compromise between whole food goodness and fast food convenience, Vega was created with the following principles in mind:
Plant-based whole foods are the true future of optimal health
"Eat your fruits and vegetables." This is one of the most tried and true recommendations for a healthy diet. Plant-based foods are rich in antioxidants, essential vitamins and minerals, enzymes, fiber and phytonutrients and countless studies support their many health benefits. Vega is made exclusively from plant-based whole foods.
Raw, alkalinizing foods are the best defense against illness and disease
In stark contrast to processed food, raw plant-based whole foods foster an alkaline environment within the body, an ideal platform upon which optimal health can be built. The main cause of all illness and disease stems from the disruption of pH balance in the body. Raw, alkaline foods help neutralize acid in our diet to promote healthy pH balance. Vega is slightly alkaline (pH of 7.2), similar to human blood (pH 7.4).
Nutrient density is more important than calories
Once the body is supplied with the nourishment it needs, cravings will cease. Consuming nutrient dense whole foods is a healthy way to naturally reduce caloric intake resulting in the creation of a stronger, leaner body. Vega is very nutrient dense, yet low in calories.
Food should provide energy, not drain it
Ease of assimilation is a key benefit of wholesome, natural food. The less energy the body must spend on digestion and assimilation, the more it will retain. Enzyme rich to conserve energy upon digestion, Vega offers superior net energy gain.
Food should energize through nourishment, not stimulation
Refined foods, sugar and caffeine "˜lend' temporary energy by stimulating the adrenal glands, creating a brief increase in energy levels but eventually resulting in fatigue. Vega contain an ideal balance of essential fatty acids, fiber and low glycemic carbohydrates to provide a constant, enduring supply of energy through nourishment, not stimulation, resulting in improved performance, mental clarity and enhanced ability to burn body fat.
Avoid common allergens to reduce food sensitivities
Many people, whether they know it or not, have sensitivities to foods that are abundant in the modern diet; commonly resulting in headaches, mild flu-like symptoms, low energy, and difficulty shedding body fat. Clean and green, Vega is free of most common allergens including artificial sweeteners, corn, dairy, gluten, soy, wheat and yeast.
It is possible to grow a younger body
Regular exercise to break down body tissue, coupled with premium, whole food nutrition to rebuild it is what keeps us biologically young. Depending on activity level, six to eight months from now your body will have regenerated almost all of its tissue at the cellular level. It will literally be made up of what you eat between now and then. Supply your body with premium building blocks such as those found in Vega and the result can literally be a healthier, younger body.
http://sequelnaturals.com/vega
I have been buying the Whole Food Vibrancy Bars (specifically the Green Synergy and Chocolate). They are about $2.40 a piece at Lori's Natural Foods in Henrietta, and have 200 calories. So, don't just add them to your day----substitute them in for something else!
I am also trying the drink powders this week---they sell single serving and also the big containers of the stuff.
I'm pasting the Guiding Principles here because I think you should read it! Don't get overwhelmed---this is suggesting best-case-scenario. Pick some things you could do in your life, and don't worry that it's not perfect... you don't have to buy the Vega products to work towards meeting these principles!
Guiding Principles
Quite often the simplest solution is the best one. Over the past 50 years, however, our Western culture has managed to complicate matters concerning diet and its relation to health. Obesity and malnourishment exist simultaneously while the over-consumption of calorie-rich but nutrient-poor foods drain our energy. To make matters worse, we treat obesity with drugs and fad diets and combat fatigue with refined carbohydrates, sugar and caffeine. These are short-term solutions that eventually render us energy depleted, over-stimulated, chronically stressed and vulnerable to illness and premature aging.
So what can we do to address this problem? Today, many health experts believe the solution is to consume primarily plant-based whole foods; pure and simple as nature intended. Whole foods support all the requirements of a healthy body system, from absorption to elimination.
The challenge with whole foods has always been their relative inconvenience to prepare, compared to the gamut of fast food offerings so readily available to us. Born of the belief that one should not have to compromise between whole food goodness and fast food convenience, Vega was created with the following principles in mind:
Plant-based whole foods are the true future of optimal health
"Eat your fruits and vegetables." This is one of the most tried and true recommendations for a healthy diet. Plant-based foods are rich in antioxidants, essential vitamins and minerals, enzymes, fiber and phytonutrients and countless studies support their many health benefits. Vega is made exclusively from plant-based whole foods.
Raw, alkalinizing foods are the best defense against illness and disease
In stark contrast to processed food, raw plant-based whole foods foster an alkaline environment within the body, an ideal platform upon which optimal health can be built. The main cause of all illness and disease stems from the disruption of pH balance in the body. Raw, alkaline foods help neutralize acid in our diet to promote healthy pH balance. Vega is slightly alkaline (pH of 7.2), similar to human blood (pH 7.4).
Nutrient density is more important than calories
Once the body is supplied with the nourishment it needs, cravings will cease. Consuming nutrient dense whole foods is a healthy way to naturally reduce caloric intake resulting in the creation of a stronger, leaner body. Vega is very nutrient dense, yet low in calories.
Food should provide energy, not drain it
Ease of assimilation is a key benefit of wholesome, natural food. The less energy the body must spend on digestion and assimilation, the more it will retain. Enzyme rich to conserve energy upon digestion, Vega offers superior net energy gain.
Food should energize through nourishment, not stimulation
Refined foods, sugar and caffeine "˜lend' temporary energy by stimulating the adrenal glands, creating a brief increase in energy levels but eventually resulting in fatigue. Vega contain an ideal balance of essential fatty acids, fiber and low glycemic carbohydrates to provide a constant, enduring supply of energy through nourishment, not stimulation, resulting in improved performance, mental clarity and enhanced ability to burn body fat.
Avoid common allergens to reduce food sensitivities
Many people, whether they know it or not, have sensitivities to foods that are abundant in the modern diet; commonly resulting in headaches, mild flu-like symptoms, low energy, and difficulty shedding body fat. Clean and green, Vega is free of most common allergens including artificial sweeteners, corn, dairy, gluten, soy, wheat and yeast.
It is possible to grow a younger body
Regular exercise to break down body tissue, coupled with premium, whole food nutrition to rebuild it is what keeps us biologically young. Depending on activity level, six to eight months from now your body will have regenerated almost all of its tissue at the cellular level. It will literally be made up of what you eat between now and then. Supply your body with premium building blocks such as those found in Vega and the result can literally be a healthier, younger body.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Be Wordy
I've been reading a book by Anthony Robbins that was written around the year 1990. It talks about how to be successful and maximize your results and approach to life---and its a little funny to read his 1990 perspective on pop culture and current events examples (he talked about going to the movies with his wife to watch Ghost).
A lot of what he says really applies to how to improve your lifestyle and behaviors.
He says that most of our lives are conducted on autopilot---and to change, we not only have to come off autopilot consciously, but we also have to re-train all the neural pathways that lead us to the choices we make day after day. We guide our choices by the concepts of pleasure (trying to gain it) or pain (trying to reduce it). This is similar to the concepts of punishment and reward, but he really emphasizes that we need to not just try and will our way through change, but use strategies that will help lessen the strength of the neural pathways over time. We also need to work on breaking and interrupting our autopilot patterns.
One of the concepts he talks about that really interested me had to do with choosing our words. He gave the example of himself and two colleagues being in a situation where they were being screwed in a business deal. He was feeling very angry and upset, colleague #1 described himself as furious and enraged (and had the red face and bulging forehead veins to match), and colleague #2 was annoyed and peeved (sitting and observing calmly). As he assessed the situation, he realized that the way in which each person described their feelings was related to the intensity of how they felt. The way they felt was determined by their perception of how they could possibly avoid pain and gain pleasure (one thought he would better control the situation if he was seriously mad and the other thought he would make better choices if he remained in control of his emotions).
This seems like common sense, but what Anthony did next was try an experiment with himself (you know that's right up my alley!). He wanted to choose words that would affect his emotions and mental state rather than letting it occur the other way around. He thought the word "peeved" was sort of funny and ridiculous, so he began using that as a descriptor whenever he was becoming irritated. He found that instead of becoming enraged, just saying the word peeved lessened his intensity of feelings. It changed the entire tone of situations he was in.
So in relation to wellness----how do you describe yourself? What words do you choose as you talk about your attempts at lifestyle change? Are you frustrated about having trouble losing weight? Can you change the words you use to describe it that will alter the way you feel?
The bottom line is that whether you feel positively or not, the outside world is still going to keep being the same outside world---but if you can stop getting mad at traffic or the person in the 7 items or less lane who has 22 items, you just feel better. The world doesn't necessarily change, but you feel better. The long-term result is that the better you feel, the better decisions you have the capability to make.
Identify a negative descriptor you use frequently (i.e. hate, furious, depressed, etc.), and think of a more mild or silly substitute. Make an effort to replace the word and see what happens. I have a friend who really despises her admin job--and she can easily fall into the habit of saying she hates her job and she's miserable in it. Instead, I get emails from her talking about how she has a goal of working in a job where there is more tomfoolery and shenanigans....which language pattern of hers do you think makes her feel better (given that right now the admin job itself is not changing)?
Our language has somewhere between 500,000 and 750,000 words in it (more than any other), but the average person uses between 2000 and 10,000. If you look in a thesaurus, you'll find significantly more negative words than positive. It seems worth the effort to make our words more positive--even if it just helps a little, it's a pretty easy thing to do!
A lot of what he says really applies to how to improve your lifestyle and behaviors.
He says that most of our lives are conducted on autopilot---and to change, we not only have to come off autopilot consciously, but we also have to re-train all the neural pathways that lead us to the choices we make day after day. We guide our choices by the concepts of pleasure (trying to gain it) or pain (trying to reduce it). This is similar to the concepts of punishment and reward, but he really emphasizes that we need to not just try and will our way through change, but use strategies that will help lessen the strength of the neural pathways over time. We also need to work on breaking and interrupting our autopilot patterns.
One of the concepts he talks about that really interested me had to do with choosing our words. He gave the example of himself and two colleagues being in a situation where they were being screwed in a business deal. He was feeling very angry and upset, colleague #1 described himself as furious and enraged (and had the red face and bulging forehead veins to match), and colleague #2 was annoyed and peeved (sitting and observing calmly). As he assessed the situation, he realized that the way in which each person described their feelings was related to the intensity of how they felt. The way they felt was determined by their perception of how they could possibly avoid pain and gain pleasure (one thought he would better control the situation if he was seriously mad and the other thought he would make better choices if he remained in control of his emotions).
This seems like common sense, but what Anthony did next was try an experiment with himself (you know that's right up my alley!). He wanted to choose words that would affect his emotions and mental state rather than letting it occur the other way around. He thought the word "peeved" was sort of funny and ridiculous, so he began using that as a descriptor whenever he was becoming irritated. He found that instead of becoming enraged, just saying the word peeved lessened his intensity of feelings. It changed the entire tone of situations he was in.
So in relation to wellness----how do you describe yourself? What words do you choose as you talk about your attempts at lifestyle change? Are you frustrated about having trouble losing weight? Can you change the words you use to describe it that will alter the way you feel?
The bottom line is that whether you feel positively or not, the outside world is still going to keep being the same outside world---but if you can stop getting mad at traffic or the person in the 7 items or less lane who has 22 items, you just feel better. The world doesn't necessarily change, but you feel better. The long-term result is that the better you feel, the better decisions you have the capability to make.
Identify a negative descriptor you use frequently (i.e. hate, furious, depressed, etc.), and think of a more mild or silly substitute. Make an effort to replace the word and see what happens. I have a friend who really despises her admin job--and she can easily fall into the habit of saying she hates her job and she's miserable in it. Instead, I get emails from her talking about how she has a goal of working in a job where there is more tomfoolery and shenanigans....which language pattern of hers do you think makes her feel better (given that right now the admin job itself is not changing)?
Our language has somewhere between 500,000 and 750,000 words in it (more than any other), but the average person uses between 2000 and 10,000. If you look in a thesaurus, you'll find significantly more negative words than positive. It seems worth the effort to make our words more positive--even if it just helps a little, it's a pretty easy thing to do!
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