I spoke with someone today who is a behavioral psychologist, and we talked about what makes people do what they do... a deep subject, for sure.
This is what she said about behavior change--
"If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting."
I'm not sure why, but this felt like a significant revelation to me even though I already know it. It's similar to the definition of insanity--doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Sometimes when you put things into words they start to become real and make sense all at once.
So the next time I sit down to talk with someone who wants to be fit/lose weight/manage stress, and they tell me there's nothing they can change about how they live.... maybe I'll just give that line. Or maybe I'll try and be more tactful about it. Maybe.
p.s. It's no easier for the behavioral psychologist to improve her wellness than it is for the rest of us, she just happens to have an advantage of knowing how behaviors work.